Monday, January 9, 2012

Staying on the positive side

Last night, I found a really inspirational website that lit a bit of a fire under me. As a result, I vowed to get up early this morning and go work out, and by golly, I did - not as early as I'd intended, but hey, I got my feet on the floor and out the door; a good half-hour sweatfest was certainly better than none.

I have no clue how long this particular streak will last - of course, I can't even really call it a streak just yet. But lately, my motivation has been so elusive and I've made so many not-so-stellar choices with my diet and exercise that I've grown quite cynical that these "fits of clarity and hope" will ever last, even from hour-to-hour it seems sometimes. I am sick to death of going out gangbusters for a day or a couple days or even a week or so, and then, kind of like heading off a cliff (or shooting myself in the foot) - failing to follow up and power through those days and moods where I couldn't care less if I never ran another step or never put down the damned fork, for the rest of my life.

So, what triggered today's determined attitude? The website for sure, but there are a few other candidates too - ones I've already been sitting with for several weeks: 
  • It could be the roughly 15 lbs. or so I've gained since the end of October (and not entirely ironically, my last race - the Runaway Pumpkin Half Marathon)...
  • It could be the fact that I have gone for a run only and exactly four times, not counting today, since then.
  • Or it could be finally getting myself off the near-constant sugar-high I've been on since Thanksgiving - egg nog, pumpkin pie, chocolate, and all of the other creamy/salty/fatty stuff I've been inhaling like there was no tomorrow.
  • Quite possibly, it was the shiny, seductive lure of making my year-in, year-out resolutions to properly deal with my weight issues once and for all....the promise to make this my best running year get stronger...even just to write more often (well, I'm *here*, aren't I?  LOL) - this may have something to do with it as well.
 So who really knows?  It's probably a combination of all of the above.

This morning, I managed two sweaty and somewhat labored miles, with a quarter mile walk each for warm-up and cool-down. I couldn't handle less than a 13:30 pace without significant stress (and I REALLY didn't want to push the envelope given the current state of my training)  --   but I ran the whole two miles without stopping, or walking for that matter.
I have decided to take this as a positive sign - another little piece of ammunition in my arsenal against apathy and lethargic "don't-care" attitudes. Supposing I can keep getting back to my feet after knocking myself down - and I harbor no illusion that I won't do so again, probably multiple times, in the future - I just might have a fighting chance of reaching my ultimate weight goal, and of running the sorts of races I can only dream about right now.

On a bit of a whim, I signed myself up last Friday for a 5K "Resolution Run" coming up on January 21st. It's been a long time since I've done a 5K, but really, this is where I need to pick it up - almost-at-but-not-quite the beginning. I hope this will be the "starting line" of a really great year to come - physically, mentally and anything else that comes to mind.

And oh, just in case you might be wondering, blogging here a bit more is definitely on my hit list too!