I have no clue how long this particular streak will last - of course, I can't even really call it a streak just yet. But lately, my motivation has been so elusive and I've made so many not-so-stellar choices with my diet and exercise that I've grown quite cynical that these "fits of clarity and hope" will ever last, even from hour-to-hour it seems sometimes. I am sick to death of going out gangbusters for a day or a couple days or even a week or so, and then, kind of like heading off a cliff (or shooting myself in the foot) - failing to follow up and power through those days and moods where I couldn't care less if I never ran another step or never put down the damned fork, for the rest of my life.
So, what triggered today's determined attitude? The website for sure, but there are a few other candidates too - ones I've already been sitting with for several weeks:
- It could be the roughly 15 lbs. or so I've gained since the end of October (and not entirely ironically, my last race - the Runaway Pumpkin Half Marathon)...
- It could be the fact that I have gone for a run only and exactly four times, not counting today, since then.
- Or it could be finally getting myself off the near-constant sugar-high I've been on since Thanksgiving - egg nog, pumpkin pie, chocolate, and all of the other creamy/salty/fatty stuff I've been inhaling like there was no tomorrow.
- Quite possibly, it was the shiny, seductive lure of making my year-in, year-out resolutions to properly deal with my weight issues once and for all....the promise to make this my best running year ever...to get stronger...even just to write more often (well, I'm *here*, aren't I? LOL) - this may have something to do with it as well.
This morning, I managed two sweaty and somewhat labored miles, with a quarter mile walk each for warm-up and cool-down. I couldn't handle less than a 13:30 pace without significant stress (and I REALLY didn't want to push the envelope given the current state of my training) -- but I ran the whole two miles without stopping, or walking for that matter.
I have decided to take this as a positive sign - another little piece of ammunition in my arsenal against apathy and lethargic "don't-care" attitudes. Supposing I can keep getting back to my feet after knocking myself down - and I harbor no illusion that I won't do so again, probably multiple times, in the future - I just might have a fighting chance of reaching my ultimate weight goal, and of running the sorts of races I can only dream about right now.
On a bit of a whim, I signed myself up last Friday for a 5K "Resolution Run" coming up on January 21st. It's been a long time since I've done a 5K, but really, this is where I need to pick it up - almost-at-but-not-quite the beginning. I hope this will be the "starting line" of a really great year to come - physically, mentally and anything else that comes to mind.
And oh, just in case you might be wondering, blogging here a bit more is definitely on my hit list too!