You might remember I posted this big glowing speech the other day about conquering fear, and Franklin Roosevelt, and Deep Psychological Stuff about said fear and losing weight and running and blah blah blah. Big bold words on a bold topic, no?
So I guess I'll not beat around the bush and just say it: I am totally freaking out about the Shamrock Run, which is a mere week from this Sunday.
So far I've had at least three people who are all experienced and very fit runners comment on how challenging this race is - or rather, how challenging the 15K is, which is of course the distance I have signed up for. Today, on the OregonLive blog, I was glancing through some of the previous posts about Shamrock and made lumpy-throated note of this particular quote by RunOregon community blogger Kelly Johnson:
"Anyway, it's gotten me thinking that there's no better time than to start adding hills into my weekly running plan to be ready for the monster locals refer to as "Terwilliger" and those in the know refer to as "The runner-eating hill that never ends."
This is not good.
It's not that I don't think I can finish, because I know I can. My hill-training is somewhat lacking, but I am pretty sure I'll be able to muddle through - so far, I have always managed to muddle through. With this race, though, there is an added aspect that up until now, I have never had to contend with - and that is the stipulation that if one has not reached a certain point on the course within 75 minutes, he/she will be diverted to a different route that will take about two miles off the distance.
This would not the the end of the world. It's not like getting pulled off the course, as if exceeding the total allowable time for a race, and it's not technically a DNF ("Did Not Finish" for those who might not be hep with the lingo). But in a way, it would be a DNF - I registered for a 15K, not an 11-something K (or whatever it would be.) Not being allowed to finish what I started would be quite disappointing indeed.
I want to challenge myself, but I know I have limits and God forbid I would end up with an injury. I'm still too determined to do this to change my registration to run the 8K instead, which I could do, but that would be giving in and chickening out. Perhaps it's stubborn pride getting in the way; I don't know. It certainly wouldn't be the first time.
Sadly, I've no uplifting or grandiose words of profundity about overcoming and "seeing what I'm made of" to add to this post - only that I am nervous and full of doubt about this race, and I guess I really have no choice but to sit with it, keep training, and hope for the best.